Hayate and Beer Brought us Together
by HeartlessRomantic
Summary: When Ed crossed the gate, Roy sank into despair. He rejected Riza, who feeling alone rejected other officer's hits, until one fateful night...
1. All Alone

Fullmetal Alchemist fic

**Hayate and Beer Brought us Together. **

Disclaimer: (HR)Beer…beer…DAG! I want the alcohol!

(DAG) no, you get drunk enough without it.

(HR) BUT IT IS THE ONLY THING I COULD OWN!

_**Cheesy…we know…**_

_**Written by HeartlessRomantic (mostly) and DemonicAnimeGeek. **_

Summary: Ever since Ed crossed the gate, Roy ignored Riza. Lonely and unloved, Havoc begins to hit on her. She rejects his attempts, until one fateful night…

**Chapter 1-**

**All alone**

**_It is really kind of angst- y to begin with…but it will get more lighthearted later, we swear!_**

"_Ed…why did Ed have to go? I am alone…. It is too quiet in Central…there's no height-sensitive jerks to mock…no chibi's to blow up…It is like a mission that will never end. I never realized what he meant to me…why? I am a fool…I have always been a fool. How can one ignore what is so blatantly obvious? Why does love never act the way it should? Ed…Ed is gone…and there never will be another midget to anger…to love…there will never be Ed…I am all alone…" _

Riza Hawkeye listened to Roy Mustang's laments through the door. She stood there, staring at it, not believing what she was hearing. The stack of paper in her arms grew heavy, unwanted. She really should give them to him…they really did need to be done…but how could she burst in on him like this? Her eyes were beginning to get red, and she was sure his were too. He wouldn't do it anyway…what was the point? A single tear slowly fell, blotting out Mustang's name on the top sheet of paper. She smiled a little. What did the papers really mean, anyway? Did they matter? They didn't need to be done right now…not when everyone was so upset down here. She placed the stack neatly in front of Mustang's door and went back to her desk.

There was a sheet of paper in front of her. It appeared to be swimming. With a sigh she put it away, she would do it later. When she felt better. She closed her eyes, and put her boots on her desk, mimicking the position many of the other workers.

Havoc walked by. He stopped in front of her and said, "Need a light to match?" handing her a cigarette. She didn't open her eyes. She had to appear strong for the rest of the office. Hawkeye shook her head, appearing to be deep in thought. "I don't smoke," she managed to croak out. "Maybe you should start?" Havoc asked, offering her the cigarette again. She refused. He shrugged and walked out.

_Roy Mustang is gay? Roy…Roy never loved me…not that it was expected really…But he had so many girlfriends…and he's gay…And not only that, he was in love with Ed Elric? Is in love with Ed Elric. Doesn't anyone love me? I am all alone…_

As Riza Hawkeye began to mourn, Jean Havoc returned to his own desk. _The Lieutenant seemed a little preoccupied…_ he mused. Ignoring the stack of papers on his cluttered desk, he lit another cigarette.


	2. Tuesday

**Chapter 2**

**Tuesday**

Today was Tuesday. This of course meaning yesterday was Monday. The first day of the week. The first day of work since…since…. Riza couldn't even make herself think that. She had liked Ed too. He was kind of sweet sometimes. And she admired the nonconformist way he helped the military, and the way that he would kick open his boss's

_(his lover's)_

door and say "Colonel Bastard" How often had she wanted to do that? But of course, perfect Riza Hawkeye couldn't do that. She had to be respectful to her superior…no matter how often she wanted to

(_kiss)_

yell at him for not doing paperwork. Perfect Riza Hawkeye had to keep her job

(_her morals)_

otherwise she'd be out in the street. She had no family in Central or anywhere near it. She barely had any family at all left. Not for the first time, she yearned for a sister. A sister she could trust, a sister who could help her. She didn't feel right. Her heart was heavy as lead. So was everyone's, but hers wasn't just because of Ed.

God she felt pathetic.

Lt. Jean Havoc was looking at his calander. It was Tuesday. He never did like Tuesdays. It always seemed like it made the week longer to have it. They should just get rid of it. That would work. Mustang would like that to. Declare it National 'Burning Paperwork'

('_Riza')_

Day….Now wait a minute. Where had that thought come from? He liked Hawkeye well enough, he supposed. She was a little strict…and a little trigger happy. Last year, on her birthday, the office had gotten together and given her a water gun. "It's a .38 caliber!" they'd told her. She just said "Very amusing. Get back to your paperwork." She had a little smile when she said it. That warmed Havoc more than his cigarette. Speaking of which….

He hadn't lit his morning cancer stick yet today. He dug around in his pocket and extracted his lighter and his cigarettes.

He'd have to think a bit, something he wasn't accustomed to doing.


	3. The First Move

_**Sorry this took so long to post! Just been a little dead recently. So, here you go and lets hope that the next chapter will be rather more speedily posted!**_

_**HR**_

**Chapter Three**

**The First Move**

Havoc was thinking. His boots were on his desk and there was a cigarette in his mouth, but it wasn't lit. He was chewing on the end of it. He yawned, the practiced yawn of someone who never lets the cigarette fall, and stretched. He placed his hands behind his head to form a pillow and yawned the smoker's yawn again.

Maybe there was something up with the Boss. Maybe he just wasn't doing the proper

(_entertainment) _

Work load for her…

Havoc groaned. He would have to stop thinking these bizarre Roy/Riza thoughts.

Riza hadn't done any paperwork all day. Not a scrap of paper had even touched her desk. She felt worthless. Her eyes remained vaguely pink and she thought she may be developing a cold. She sighed. Havoc walked past her.

He looked at her, curled up in her chair like a cat. She looked at him, daring him to say anything.

He didn't.

Instead he sat on her desk and swung his legs over the side until he was facing her. He took her head and slowly, sweetly, kissed her.

Riza let herself fall into that kiss, her first kiss in a long, long time.

"Well, that is cute isn't it."

Riza pulled herself away to look at the owner of the deep voice. It was Roy. Braeda and Feurey stood behind him.

"Well, Havoc got lucky in love for once. Pay up, knew it'd happen sometime." Braeda said. Feurey deposited a couple of coins in his palm.

Riza slapped Havoc.

Feurey took his coins back.


	4. Drunk

_**Ha, I was right! This did come quicker than the other one did! All hail me! And this one is like, four times as long as the last one. If only for the dialoge. **_

_**HR**_

**Chapter 4**

**Drunk**

Riza stared at the clock. It was five p.m. She could leave now. She could go home, huddle on the couch and read a book. No, not read a book. She couldn't really see. She could go home and go to sleep. That's more like it. Sleep. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to drive home, but she'd get there eventually. She did feel guilty about leaving work when she hadn't accomplished anything but—

"Hey, miss."

"Back off, Havoc."

"Wanna lift?"

"Sure."

Wait, what had she just done? She had accepted a ride from someone? Not only that, but Riza Hawkeye was getting in a car with Jean Havoc? There was something vaguely frightening about the idea of the 2nd Lieutenant driving, but then again, he had his responsible side. He had his caring side. And the way he had kissed her….

Wait, what had he just done? He offered a ride to Riza? He groaned on the inside. She seemed like a backseat driver. Still, he couldn't leave her here, she looked like hell. And he did like

_(love, perhaps?)_

her. Why shouldn't he give her a ride?

"So, where we headed, Lieutenant?"

"Home."

Havoc smiled wickedly.

"I'm going to take you somewhere radical."

"Please don't."

"You'll like it."

"No, I won't."

Havoc turned around and cupped her chin in his hand.

"Yes, you will."

"Fine."

His quest became clear. He was going to get Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye drunk.

She got in the car beside him and didn't say a word. He got behind the wheel, sitting a little straighter up than he would have usually. He had to put on a good impression once for Riza! Riza sighed. He wished he could make her feel better. Hesitantly, he put his hand behind her neck. She leaned into it. Havoc's ego nearly exploded.

They reached a dingy street.

"What radical thing that I should like is here?"

"A club."

"What kind?"

"You'll see."

"I don't like that smirk."

"Yes, you do."

Riza glared.

"No, I don't."

"Really?"

"Really."

Havoc took out his cigarette and kissed her again.

"Really?"

"I don't think I should get involved with coworkers."

"That's alright. Roy does it all the time."

"Did."

"Did."

He sobered up. Havoc got out of the car as Riza sat there, obstinately, still buckled in. Havoc opened her car door. She got out. Havoc took her arm and led her into the door in the back of the building. There was loud music reverberating through. The glass on the door showed shadows and red light.

Riza stiffened when he opened the door. He helped her with her coat, delicately tossing it in the vague direction of the hat rack.

"Do you like it?"

The music seemed to take every beating of her heart and place it out in the open for everyone to hear.

"Yes. I like it."

"I'll be right back."

Havoc left and Riza wandered around the mingling people. She felt a hand on her shoulder and slowly, as if in a dream, turned around to face Roy Mustang.

"Hello, sir."

Roy looked at her strangely.

"Hello…Riza. What are you doing here?"

"I'm here with the 2nd lieutenant."

"_Havoc _brought you here?!"

"Yes."

"And you _came_?"

"Obviously."

Havoc appeared behind them.

"Hey, Riza. I got you a drink. Hey, boss!"

Roy looked at the two of them, shaking his head.

"Of course. It should have happened a long time ago!"

"What, sir?"

"What, boss?"

"You two!"

The two in question glanced at each other. They didn't get a chance to answer before a young blonde woman came up behind Roy.

"Hello, darling!"

"hello."

"You don't sound enthused!"

"I'm not."

Havoc dragged Riza away, pressing the drink into her hands. They found two stools by the bar and sat.

"I don't get it."

"Get what?"

"Ducks. But that's beside the point."

Riza stared at him.

"What?"

"Family joke. Don't ask."

Riza shrugged and took a swig of her drink. She began to sputter; it was a strong, sweet liquor. Havoc patted her on the back until the coughing subsided. When it did, she took another drink.

"How can he act like that around women and STILL get dates? I mean, if I acted like that, I'd get slapped!"

Riza laughed.

"That's because Roy is cute!"

Havoc looked insulted.

"And I'm not?"

Riza shook her head. She whispered, "My turn" and leaned into his lips. Havoc stroked her hair slightly, feeling her soft lips in his heart. Someone shouted, "GET A ROOM!" There were chuckles around them. Riza laughed again, finishing off her drink. Havoc ordered her another one. She drank it. She drank many after that.

"Cum tance wif me!" she whispered later that night.

"'Tance'?"

Riza nodded forcefully. Havoc obliged. He had done the impossible. He had gotten Riza drunk. Somehow, it wasn't as great as he thought it would be. The music started up again, wild music. Riza (who had lost her dignity rather a long time ago) began to dance around him, archaic improvised dances. Havoc pulled her close to him, holding her, feeling her heart beat against his. She calmed, wrapping her arms around his neck.

She passed out in his arms.

Havoc rolled his eyes and picked her up, carrying her to the door. When he got there, he looked at her military coat on the floor. He looked at the unconscious woman occupying both his arms. He looked at the coat again.

(_great)_

He leaned against one wall for balance and caught the collar on his boot. As he lifted his foot to his hand to hold the coat, he slipped down the wall, landing with a thump on the floor. Riza groaned and nuzzled her head under his chin.

"Well, that went well, didn't it, Jean," he muttered to himself. He grabbed the jacket and staggered up and out the door to his car. He put her in the backseat where she could lay out and began to drive towards her apartment.

He carried her through the door like a groom with his newlywed wife, laying her on the couch. He placed a final kiss on her forehead before retreating to his own home.

"That girl is going to have a world-class hangover in the morning," he whispered as he put his car in gear. "World-class."


End file.
